Had to be the Rain
by AbayJ
Summary: It had to be the night, the rain always brought out the worse in both of them but the rain can also cleanse and comfort.


**Title**: Had to be the Rain  
**Author**: Bay  
**Summary**: It had to be the night, the rain always brought out the worse in both of them but the rain can also cleanse and comfort.  
**Rating**: NC-17, Violence, Sex.  
**Category**: AU, Romance, Angst.  
**Relationships**: Sarkney (Syd/Sark) Francine/Will. Hints of Sark/Allison and Sydney/Vaungn  
**Author's Note**: I haven't watched Alias for a while now, damn social life, but I do hope to catch up soon. This is an AU fic that's been playing in my head for a while, mainly because I'm such a huge Sark fan. Mmmmm David Ander's is such a hotty! Hope you like, can't wait to hear whatcha think 

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****Chapter One**

It was pouring, another rainy LA day, with nothing to do but sit in the apartment. She hated doing nothing, it left her with a sense of decrepitation. Something she was entirely used to now of days. Though, she doubted she would ever get used to it.

She wanted to be selfish and ask, "Why did it have to be me?" But that wasn't Sydney Bristrow, she wasn't selfish. No matter what other's may have thought. Much, she would much rather it been her to wind up in a wheel chair then the girl.

Wheeling away from the window, she moved to the kitchen, reaching up and pulling open the refrigerator, something a few months ago, she hadn't been able to do.

Well, that wasn't entirely true, she could do it, she just didn't want too. At that time she did something she never ever had before in her life. Gave into self pity. Who would blame her? Her career had gone down the drain, her life, and everything had to live for.

Shaking her head in disgust, she was crazy, she wasn't going down this path. It had been two years since the spring night and she wasn't going to let the pity overwhelm her again. Never again. She had made her life worth living once again.

No, she wasn't a fast pace CIA agent, nor did she go to the wonderful foreign places anymore. She had a desk job, encoding and decoding messages. She had always had a knack for it and now she was damn well near perfect if you asked her.

Not that anyone did, she laughed bitterly at her own joke.

Ugh, it had to be the rain. Had to be, grabbing the bottle opener, she popped the cap off the cold beer she had removed for the fridge, letting the cold Miller Lite beer slide down her throat.

Rain always brought those memories back, the accident came to her clear as a bell. The drunk mother, the crying baby girl, and the feeling of having no feeling in her legs.

_She had been driving home from the airport, another successful mission under her belt. Dixon and her worked flawlessly together, he backed her up when she needed and she watched him with a eagle eye. Perfect team, she thought without vain. _

_God, she couldn't wait to get home, to her bed. Maybe she could call Vaugan, have a nice long hot bath with him. Let him stroke her to sleep. Smiling at the thought, she sighed. Stopping at the red stop sign._

_Noticing how hard the rain was coming down for the first time. Sometimes she couldn't help but hate LA. Cursing the rain as she noticed the intersection was clear and continue to move down the road. _

_Deciding to forget the rain and not let it ruin the evening she was planning she started to think about what they would eat. Maybe she would cook that recipe Francie had taught her, or maybe order Chinese. Either or would work for her. Vaugan could decide after she call him._

_Doing a California roll at the next stop sign, she continue to think about what she would need. Red wine would go fine with either, she had a bottle chilling when she had left unexpectedly for Tokyo, so that would work. _

_Still in her own thoughts, she didn't see the red car come down the road, not stopping at the stop sigh, nor slowing down. Crashing into her car on the driver side, crushing the car and Sydney. The last thing she remember was hearing the baby girl shout for her mother._

Coming out of her thoughts, she saw the sun trying to peak past the dark clouds. Like her own life trying to look past the dark clouds that seemed to hang over her some days. Ones that she was tired of, luckily for her, they only now came on rainy days and nights.

Moving over to the phone, she called her two best friends, deciding the best way to get past this gloomy mood was the go shopping, something that Francine was only to happy to help with.

* * *

Julian Lazarey ran down he foot path, feeling the burn in his legs. Loving the feeling. Any feelings had these days were welcome. At least he knew he wasn't completely dead inside. Maybe a little, not completely though. That was something at least.

Feeling the burn move from his calf muscles to his thighs, he stopped. Taking deep breath of the spring LA smog filled air. He was getting old, he thought to himself. Only a mile and he was taking deep breaths. Something he wasn't used too. Maybe it was lack of the exercise, yes, that was it, it wasn't his approaching thirtieth birthday, it was the lack exercise. The last time he had run, he had, had someone next to him, that was almost three years ago.

Feeling the fist of iron clasp around his heart, he tried to let that though flee from his head, but it wouldn't go. Looking up, maybe if he focused on the...he watched as the dark clouds begin to push the fluffy white ones from the sky he let out a long sigh.

He hated the rain. To many things had happened in the rain. To many memories cornered him when the rain fell. When he felt the first drop hit his bare back, it took him back, back to the place where he most hated to go too. Brought back all the feelings had tired to burry over the years.

_Their feet hit the payment at the same time, the rain crashing against them as the ran from the fire, trying out run the bullets that blazed past them. Their wet hands clasped as forced themselfs past the wind and the rain. Trying to get to the van that waited for them._

"_Hurry Sark," she said his code name as he pulled her along with him, her own legs keeping pace with his. Both of them checking behind them every few moments, but trying to keep their focus on the bullets that barely missed their heads and the van that was near. _

"_Come on Ally," he yelled over the rain and gun fire, as she stared to slow, pulling her harder as her weight seemed to get heavier. She was getting tired, he thought and continued to pull slash drag her. Thankful when he saw the van coming towards them, seeing the door fly open and an arm reaching for him._

_Holding back, wanting Ally to go first, he looked behind him. Seeing the trail of blood, the holes in her dark skin, and the beautiful brown highs lifeless. Not really seeing her, not hearing the shouts for him to hurry, only seeing the blood that lay spattered against her skin. Against the stone road. _

_Coming to grips with the situation and acting on autopilot, he ignored the pain and grasped Ally's upper body, reached her to the other man before jumping into the van. Hitting the steel hard. His head close to Ally's nearly all red one. _

_It couldn't be happening, was all he thoughts as he watched as his friends work on the fallen CIA agent._

That night...that night had to be one of the worse in his life, one that he had tried to burry for years to come. Three years to be exact. Three year time to heal, that was what the board of directors had said, it was almost laughable to him. How do heal from seeing the love of your life bloody and dying?


End file.
